When God Says "I'm With You" During Mental Health Crisis

A serene stone cherub sits thoughtfully atop a classical column against a soft yellow background, evoking a sense of timeless tranquility.

Dear Heavenly Father...

That's how I started my journal entry at 3 AM on a night when my mind felt like a battlefield. I had just experienced what I can only describe as my worst psychosis episode in months – scary, disorienting, and spiritually oppressive in ways that left me questioning everything I thought I knew about God's protection over my mind.

I wrote these words with a trembling hand: "When God says you don't know my thoughts, my thoughts are not your thoughts... this is exactly what I'm understanding now."

What I didn't know in that moment was that God was about to show me something beautiful hidden in the Hebrew language – something that would transform how I understand His presence during our darkest mental health struggles.

The Discovery That Changed Everything

As I was studying Scripture the next morning, still processing the fear and confusion from the night before, I came across Strong's Hebrew concordance number H863. The word is אִתַּי – Ittai – and it means "with me" or "companionable."

Suddenly, I wasn't just reading about an ancient biblical character. I was discovering a truth that spoke directly into my 3 AM crisis.

Ittai was King David's most loyal friend during his darkest hour. When David had to flee Jerusalem because his own son Absalom was trying to kill him, when everything was falling apart and David told his foreign friend he could go home, Ittai said something remarkable:

"I will go wherever my lord the king goes, no matter what happens—whether it means life or death." (2 Samuel 15:21)

What We're All Experiencing Together

If you're reading this and you've ever felt spiritually attacked during a mental health crisis, you're not alone. If you've ever wondered where God was when your brain chemistry felt like it was working against you, I see you. If you've ever made choices during a difficult season that seemed to make things worse – watching things you knew weren't healthy, isolating when you needed community, or spiraling into patterns that felt destructive – I've been there too.

In my journal that night, I wrote about how I thought watching crime shows would distract me from my episode, but instead it "triggered big demons to attack my mind." I was trying to manage my mental health crisis on my own terms, and I ended up feeling more vulnerable than ever.

Here's what I'm learning we're all experiencing as children of Christ: We have an Ittai God.

The Ittai Effect in Our Lives

The "Ittai Effect" is this beautiful reality that when we're in our worst mental health moments – when depression feels overwhelming, when anxiety attacks, when psychosis distorts our reality, when we feel spiritually under siege – God doesn't abandon us. He draws closer.

Just like Ittai refused to leave David's side during the king's darkest hour, our Heavenly Father refuses to leave us during ours.

This doesn't mean our struggles aren't real. David was really being hunted by his son. The danger was genuine. The fear was justified. And your mental health struggles are real too. Your brain chemistry might be off. The spiritual oppression might be intense. The fear might be overwhelming.

But here's the hope: Your brain chemistry may be off, but God's faithfulness never is.

The Beauty of Community in the Valley

One of the most beautiful aspects of this truth is that we don't have to walk through these valleys alone. God has given us each other – fellow believers who understand what it's like to fight battles in our minds while holding onto faith in our hearts.

When I share my 3 AM journal entry with you, I'm not doing it to be vulnerable for vulnerability's sake. I'm doing it because I know some of you have written similar prayers. Some of you have had similar nights. Some of you have wondered if God was still there when your thoughts felt chaotic and your faith felt fragile.

If I could help aid those who feel alone just to be a friendly reminder to keep Jesus close because He is closer, I would – I would.

And that's exactly what we get to do for each other. We get to be modern-day Ittais for one another, saying "I will go wherever you go through this valley. Whether it means sitting with you through a panic attack or praying with you through a dark night of the soul."

God during mental health crisis

I've learned something important about the waiting periods between crisis and healing. In my journal, I wrote about getting "a little bored" during recovery and accidentally causing more damage to my mental health. This is so common among those of us dealing with mental health struggles.

We feel better for a moment, get restless in the healing process, and make choices that set us back. We watch things we know aren't healthy. We isolate instead of reaching out. We try to manage our mental health with quick fixes instead of sustainable, God-honoring practices.

But even when we make these mistakes – even when we accidentally harm ourselves while we're trying to heal – God's "with me" presence doesn't waver. He doesn't say, "Well, you messed up, so now you're on your own." He stays. He remains. He continues to be our Ittai.

A Reminder for the Valley Walkers

If you're in a valley right now – whether it's depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, PTSD, or any other mental health struggle – I want you to know something:

You have an Ittai God who says "I'm with you."

Not "I was with you before this started." Not "I'll be with you when this is over." But "I'm with you right here, right now, in the middle of this."

Psalm 23:4 takes on new meaning when we understand it through the lens of mental health: "Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me."

The Hebrew word for "close beside" carries that same sense of intimate companionship that we see in Ittai's loyalty to David. God isn't watching from a distance. He's walking right beside you through the valley.

Building Each Other Up

As believers walking through mental health challenges, we have something beautiful to offer each other: hope grounded in truth.

We can share our 3 AM journal entries and know they'll be received with compassion rather than judgment. We can admit when we've made choices that set back our healing and find grace instead of condemnation. We can be honest about the spiritual warfare aspects of our struggles without having someone dismiss the clinical realities.

We get to remind each other that mental health struggles don't disqualify us from God's love, His purposes, or His presence. We get to be living examples of the Ittai Effect – showing up for each other with the same faithful presence that God shows us.

Keep Jesus Close

My prayer for anyone reading this is simple: Keep Jesus close, because He is closer than you think.

Even when your thoughts feel chaotic, He's there.Even when your emotions feel overwhelming, He's there.Even when you feel spiritually attacked, He's there.Even when you make choices that set back your healing, He's there.

The next time you're writing your own 3 AM journal entry to God, remember that you're not crying out into the void. You're talking to your Ittai – the One who has already decided to go wherever you go, through whatever you face, whether it means life or death.

And remember that you're not alone in this journey. There's a whole community of believers who understand, who've written similar prayers, who are walking similar paths. We're all learning together what it means to trust in an Ittai God while dealing with the real challenges of mental health.

You are seen. You are loved. You are not alone. He is with you.

If this resonated with you, I'd love to hear your story. How has God shown up for you during your mental health struggles? What does it mean to you to have an "Ittai God"? Share in the comments – your story might be exactly what someone else needs to hear today.

And if you're struggling right now, please know that seeking professional help is not a lack of faith – it's stewardship of the mind God gave you. He works through counselors, therapists, and medications just as much as He works through prayer and community.

Keep fighting. Keep believing. Keep holding onto the truth that you have an Ittai God who says "I'm with you, during your mental health crisis"